Monday, October 3, 2011

Frederickstopia passes DOSA

Frederickstopia became the first city to pass the bi-partisan Defense of Shopping Act. The act prohibits gay couples from shopping at downtown retail locations. Supporters of the law say that DOSA will protect the long standing tradition of heterosexual shopping, a value that was held by our forefathers.

A local right-wing blowhard said, "It's about time we've found a way to keep the queers out of our stores. I don't want to take my kids shopping only to walk past the candle aisle and have them see a bunch of homos playing kissy face."

A few businesses feel that the law will significantly hurt their income. Pinkadilly Tea, Kybecca Wine Shop, and A Place in Time are all concerned that they will see a sudden drop in sales. A few shops such as The Civil War Store and the Olde Towne Tobacconist are not worried about seeing an effect.

Regardless of the economical impact, many feel the law will have an overall positive influence. Evidence of the support of DOSA could be found on signs that supporters held outside city hall. They carried hand-written slogans such as "You can't put a price on our shopping values," "Shop the way God intindid," and "Git-R-Done."